Saturday, January 28, 2012

holding back when you want to do more

The past seven months of health issues have been really hard for many reasons. One difficulty has been getting used to not being able to do simple things I used to do with such ease. And learning that my pace has slowed. My husband has been an amazing servant and has picked up the slack where I haven't been able to help. It is hard when I know I should be able to do something, but in turn my body screams no. It has been hard to let go of wondering whether people think I am lazy, weak, have a low tolerance for pain, etc. In the end, I have come to terms that those judgements don't really matter because they are made out of ignorance of who I am. Still it is hard to hold back on things I believe I should be able to do.

Today I went to the gym for the first time in seven months. It was a little intimidating because I knew I would have to do much less than I am used to and for a lot less time. At first I found myself concerned about what people would think when they saw me leave in less than 20 minutes. Who goes to the gym for 20 minutes? I felt the need to tell people the reason I couldn't be there for longer. I let go of that thought and realized it was fueled more from my own pressure and frustration with the fact I could only do a little. I knew I could push my body more (I am good at the mind over matter thing), but I knew I would pay for that later (not to mention my husband getting frustrated with me if I did that ...let alone the fact he didn't even know I snuck out to the gym while he was at a meeting;)). The purpose of the outing was simply to start exercising again, regaining some strength, getting my heart pumping etc. I am convinced that exercise is good for the heart and will help my healing. I miss being able to run. The elliptical is frustrating. You get nowhere very slowly. But alas that is the machine at the gym I will use and I will have to get over the running thing. A while back a friend asked me if I missed going to the gym. And my answer was not really. She asked what I did instead ... and I said sleep. While I have enjoyed sleeping more, and I think it has been good for me, I have in some ways missed running and that time of thinking and working out frustrations. Hopefully in time the lovely elliptical will provide that outlet for me as well. So, in the end as much as I wanted to do more than 15 plus minutes on the elliptical, I didn't. I held back. I knew that was best.  The lesson at the gym is truly the lesson of my life right now.

I am in the process of figuring out what it looks like to invest in me in order that I can better invest in the important people/things in my life. I get excited thinking about it. Longing to find myself again. Longing to find my passions again. In the meantime I am trying to figure out what that looks like, what things I have to give up, and what boundaries I have to set. I am learning to live within my limits and still enjoy life and the people around me.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

he is so strong


When Anders showed off his skills over Christmas, it just made me laugh ... so I had to share it:)

Thursday, January 19, 2012

family


When the Vang family is together it is always time for a photo shoot or three... Here are some of the outtakes.




Sunday, January 15, 2012

happy new year

I can't believe it is already 2012. I am looking forward to seeing what this new year has in store.

We celebrated New Year's Eve with the family in Florida. We just hung out, had a yummy dinner prepared mostly by Team Vang, watched the danish queen's new year's speech etc. Anders did not make it till midnight ... but I guess we will forgive him this year;)



Saturday, January 14, 2012

two years



Michael and I had a wonderful two year wedding anniversary in West Palm Beach.

We started the day at Starbucks reflecting on the past year. We have a great tradition now of journaling about the things we remember from the past year - what we have learned about each other, ourselves, fun times/moments, travels, etc. Then we pick our scripture passage for the year.



We ate lunch at the same place we ate lunch after we got engaged.






We ended the day with a fabulous dinner.

What a great day. We look forward to celebrating many many more anniversaries in the years to come.

Friday, January 13, 2012

hygge



When we were in Florida we had lots of hygge. We had a great time just enjoying each others' company. One of the nights Michael and I went for a walk with Team Vang. When we got home we made æbleskiver. YUMM!







Monday, January 9, 2012

hanging out with anders



We really enjoyed hanging out with Anders over Christmas. Michael had never met Anders - but Anders liked him right away. Every time he would see Michael he would start smiling waiting for Michael to make him laugh. What a cutie. We have facetimed Anders a couple of times since we got home to make sure he doesn't forget what a great time he had with his uncle Michael and tante Signe.

juleaften



Being danish, we celebrate Juleaften (Christmas) on December 24. We had a wonderful day/evening.  This was Michael and Anders' first danish Christmas so they were introduced to many danish traditions.

We had amazing food. After dinner we ate the traditional rice pudding dessert - risalamande - where an almond is hidden. I found the almond in my bowl ... and won the mandelgave (almond gift) ... dark chocolate:)


One of the fun danish traditions is dancing around the Christmas tree while singing danish Christmas songs




Sunday, January 8, 2012

the beach

fleeing from an unexpected wave

The great part about spending Christmas in a place like Florida ... is that you can go to the beach! We had a lot of fun. Even though Anders was a little trepidatious in the beginning, he seemed to warm up to the idea of the beach soon enough.




lille juleaften (little christmas eve)



As a danish family we have always celebrated the night before Christmas Eve - Little Christmas Eve (Lille Juleaften). In many danish families, this is the day the tree is bought and decorated. In our family we have the tradition of playing a game called 10,000 while eating lots of candy, chocolate, Christmas cookies etc. This was Michael's first lille juleaften experience and he did great. Andreas and Ashley were the winners this year - way to go Team Vang!

christmas in florida




We had an amazing time in Florida with my family over Christmas. We hadn't seen my parents in six months and Michael had not even met little Anders. It was great to reconnect in person and just relax and enjoy each others' company. We have taken so many pictures so I hope to write several posts over the next couple of weeks giving some highlights from this trip (and I will warn you... there will probably be many pictures of Anders:))