The past seven months of health issues have been really hard for many reasons. One difficulty has been getting used to not being able to do simple things I used to do with such ease. And learning that my pace has slowed. My husband has been an amazing servant and has picked up the slack where I haven't been able to help. It is hard when I know I should be able to do something, but in turn my body screams no. It has been hard to let go of wondering whether people think I am lazy, weak, have a low tolerance for pain, etc. In the end, I have come to terms that those judgements don't really matter because they are made out of ignorance of who I am. Still it is hard to hold back on things I believe I should be able to do.
I am in the process of figuring out what it looks like to invest in me in order that I can better invest in the important people/things in my life. I get excited thinking about it. Longing to find myself again. Longing to find my passions again. In the meantime I am trying to figure out what that looks like, what things I have to give up, and what boundaries I have to set. I am learning to live within my limits and still enjoy life and the people around me.