grateful

Today I am grateful.

Today we are celebrating Esther turning one. This year has flown by and I can't believe our daughter is now one. So much has happened this year - so many developments and milestones. I love and appreciate the little girl Esther is becoming. She brings so much joy to our day and I can't imagine life without her. Not a day goes by where she doesn't bring a smile to my face:) She is such a gift!

But today is about so much more. It is about how one year ago today a special woman made an incredible sacrifice. A sacrifice that enabled us to become parents. I am thankful for this woman every day. I have been so filled with gratitude as I look back upon this day in the hospital a year ago. Our hero carried and labored for us so that we could experience a glimpse of the love God has for us as we love Esther. When I look at Esther and how much Michael and I have gained by having her in our life, how much sweeter and blessed our life has become, I am so thankful and incredibly aware of the reality that this woman had to let go of so much at the same time. There are no words that can adequately describe how thankful and blessed we are. But the overwhelming feeling I have today is a feeling of gratitude. Gratitude for the woman that made it possible for us to have a daughter that is turning one today. What an amazing and selfless gift. God is so good!

Today I am grateful.

officially a carlson

A month ago today (yes, I am behind in blogging! but at this point in my life little miss e is more important than blogging;), Esther officially became a Carlson! We of course have known she was a Carlson since she was born - but it was such a wonderful and comforting feeling to have the Court confirm what we already knew. As I have said before, God has been so incredibly faithful on this adoption journey. God answered the prayers and doubts I had about adoption and gave us a daughter that I feel so incredibly blessed to be able to call mine (ours). Every day when I look at her I feel so blessed and privileged to be able to be her mor. Sometimes I just sit and stare at her and am overcome with joy and gratitude that she is our daughter. Esther has changed our lives forever in a perfect way. Even though the journey to parenthood was a long and difficult one, I wouldn't have it any other way. God has redeemed what seemed like a hopeless situation. In this process God showed His love and mercy for us - His adopted children!

I want to thank everyone who helped make this adoption possible - and most of all the woman who allowed us to become parents. She is the most selfless person I know. And I am grateful for her every day and I look forward to sharing that act of love with Esther as she grows in her understanding.

Esther was woken up from her nap in the court room and wasn't too thrilled about it so she wasn't in a smiley mood:)

father's day

I realize father's day was over two weeks ago, but life happens and I still wanted to give my amazing husband a shout out on here! Happy FIRST Father's day, Michael! You are such a wonderful husband and now father. Thank you for being such a great father to sweet Esther. We love you!

Esther "made" her first homemade card for her daddy for father's day with the help of her mor:) I helped her hold the brush and then Esther showed her artistic ability by running her hands through the paint on her own -- adding a personal touch:)

Every day we thank God for the incredible blessing we have been given to be Esther's parents and because of that getting to celebrate days such as father's day:)

joy

I absolutely love being a mor (aka mom)! I always wanted to be a mother, but you never know what the experience is truly like until you are doing it. And I love it! Esther is such a joy to be around. She loves to smile. I took these pictures a couple of weeks ago, but I see this smiling face all day long:) She is obviously a baby and has needs that a baby has and my body aches and I am sleep deprived ... but when I look into her eyes and see her smile (or even when she cries  ... does any one else find baby cries adorable?) it is all so worth it! I have a Type A personality for the most part and I have been surprised how it hasn't really bothered me that my house isn't picked up and that there are millions of  things on my to do list ... I mean I would love to get those things done, but if it is between getting those things done and spending time with sweet little Esther (even if she is fussy) - I choose Esther every time. I am so thankful for this little girl. I feel so privileged to be able to be her mor. I know that I may be in the honeymoon phase and some days are harder than others ... but I truly believe that I am doing what I feel called to do. I just love our little family and I am so thankful for the sacrifice of so many that has allowed this incredible blessing of God. God has been so faithful and it has filled my heart with so much joy!

happy new year!

happy new year from THIS girl and her parents:) we look forward to seeing what 2015 has in store.

the greatest christmas present ever

After a season of waiting we received the most perfect and amazing Christmas present. We are in incredible awe of what God has done for us, how he has blessed us beyond measure with the most perfect daughter and in turn allowed us to become a family.

Let me introduce you to our daughter 

Esther Marie Carlson

We love her so much and we can't help but just sit and stare at our beautiful miracle baby:) Our hearts are full!

Even though  our adoption journey has not been easy at times, God provided us with a wonderful birth family that we had the opportunity to get to know towards the end of the journey. We truly care about this family and their incredible loving sacrifice that allowed us this beautiful healthy daughter. We look forward to sharing with Esther her beautiful birth story. 

We are incredibly humbled by the outpouring of love and support from so many of you for our adoption. We lack words to express our thankfulness, but we will start with a THANK YOU! Thank you to everyone who has helped make our dream of bringing home our Carlson baby a reality. Thank you for loving us and in turn loving little Esther.  

We are still raising money to help fund this wonderful adoption. If you are interested in making a tax deductible year end donation please consider making a contribution to https://www.adopttogether.org/carlsonadoption 

If you would prefer to purchase something tangible that supports our adoption as well then if you buy some yummy candles at Waiting Hearts Candle Co using our link (https://waitingheartscandle.com/?ref=5) we will receive 35% towards our adoption.

Thanks again for all of your support! We are overjoyed this Christmas season to have Esther as part of our family! God is good!

  

milling mondays: danish christmas recipes

As I mentioned in my last post I can't believe that it is almost Christmas! So exciting:) I just love love Christmas time. I love the cozy times spent with family and friends. Christmas trees and decorations, gift exchanges, Christmas smells, and yummy yummy food and dessert that are served this time of year. This season is often filled with nostalgia for me and with that the desire to make Christmas recipes I grew up enjoying. Here are some of my favorite yummy Danish Christmas treats featured on this blog if you want to try something new and delicious.


Vanillekranse

Brunkager

Danish Rye Bread with Dried Fruit, Seeds and Nuts

Æbleskiver

Ginger Cake (Ingefærkage)

If baking isn't your thing and you enjoy yummy smelling Christmas candles you can head over to Waiting Hearts Candle Co using this link to purchase some.

christmas gift ideas

I can't believe it is already December which means Christmas is just around the corner! If you are looking for some Christmas gift ideas here are some options... and a portion of each purchase goes towards our adoption!

One idea is to get some yummy candles at Waiting Hearts Candle Co. (who doesn't like receiving candles?). They have great Christmas and Fall flavors perfect for this time of year. The people who created this company have also adopted and they in turn have a desire to help others raise funds for their adoption. For each candle purchased using our link (https://waitingheartscandle.com/?ref=5) we will receive 35% towards our adoption. And they are currently offering free shipping so it can't get better than that:)

If you know people who love coffee (yes please!) another gift idea is purchasing coffee and things of that nature at Just Love Coffee Roasters. If you make a purchase using our link (https://justlovecoffee.com/carlsonadoption) a portion will go towards our adoption (if you go to their fundraising page you can see how much of each purchase goes towards our adoption).

thank you

As I have mentioned we are adopting! We are so incredibly grateful to all of you who have supported us already in this journey. We have been so humbled by people's generosity. As you may know we just completed our shirt fundraiser. Thank you to all of you who helped us sell 70 shirts! They should be on their way to your front door.

Many of you have also helped support us by contributing on adopt together. If you are interested in making a tax deductible year end donation please consider making a contribution to https://www.adopttogether.org/carlsonadoption to help us bring Baby Carlson home:) 

If you have any questions please feel free to contact us at ourcarlsonadoption@gmail.com

one way to help

I can't believe it is November already! This year has absolutely flown by. Pretty soon the holidays will be upon us and maybe just maybe we will be out of the 90s in Phoenix:)

As I mentioned in my previous post - we are adopting! We also mentioned there are several ways you can help support us if you feel led. One of the ways is by buying a shirt. If you have been thinking about getting one then you have one more week. The shirts will be available until Friday, November 7.

If you are interested here is the link https://www.bonfirefunds.com/carlson-adoption-fund (they send them internationally as well)

If you have any questions please let us know.

sometimes plans change

It is funny how our plans seem to change. Mine do anyway. I often have these great plans (at least in my mind they are) and then they turn out to be exactly that, my plans. Many times the path I think would be best for me is not what God has in store for me.

One of such plans was to get married (check) and then have children (still unchecked five years later). That seems simple enough. It seems to work that way for the majority of people. I don't think this was an unreasonable plan, it just wasn't our plan. I have shared about our journey through infertility here and here. In the latter post I reflected on how something needed to change. And something has. God has done amazing work on our hearts.

During our time of infertility God started preparing me for the possibility of expanding our family through adoption. After God and I wrestled with this for a while, and after spending much time in prayer and seeking counsel from others who have adopted, something changed in our hearts. After all the tears and prayers that went into our journey with infertility, God has filled our hearts with a deep and genuine excitement for adoption. Now we can't imagine not expanding our Carlson family through adoption. I am beyond grateful that both Michael and I have a desire to pursue adoption. In August we became certified to adopt (we are home study ready:)) and are excited to move forward.

Even though we are thrilled to expand our family through adoption, this road isn't easy. There are so many things we can't control. When exactly will we become parents? We don't have the luxury of a nine month warning. We could get the baby's room ready now, but then does it become a reminder of what we don't have? Or will it be a joyful reminder of what to expect? We can't control the expectant mother. We can't control how she lives her life while pregnant. All we can do is pray. Pray she will make good choices and most of all pray the baby will be protected. We had to apply to be parents. And now we are at the mercy of the expectant mother's choosing. We can be chosen only for the expectant mom to change her mind.

Talk about a roller coaster of emotions. Infertility brought many emotions, but adoption brings so many more. Oh, and then there is the enormous cost of bringing our baby home. Of course no cost can compare to our wonderful Carlson baby, but the truth is, without help we can't afford to make this wonderful Carlson baby a reality.

This uncertainty has forced us to lean and trust on God. Already this process has made our faith in God stronger. We have to trust that God is in control and that He is all-knowing. This process has also made our marriage stronger. It has forced us to communicate our desires and concerns in
an even deeper way. It has forced us to lean on each other in moments that are completely out of our control. We have already had to lean on our community and many have invested and supported us through this journey already. For this I am beyond grateful. Even though we may have a long way to go still - this journey has already been such a testament to how important it is to be part of a loving and supportive community.

I was talking to a friend a while ago who reminded me of the incredible privilege it is to adopt. Even if it is not an easy road, God has entrusted us to look after this child. To care for His child. To be part of His plan. To partake in His mission. What an honor that He would entrust me. Me! That He considers me worthy despite being unworthy of this.

We are so grateful to be headed toward adoption, but we know this is not something we can do on our own. So if you would like to be a part of this journey, here are some ways you could join us:

1. PRAY. Please pray for God’s continued guidance, financial provision, and protection for our future baby.

2. BUY A SHIRT. Ten dollars from every shirt you buy will go toward our adoption  https://www.bonfirefunds.com/carlson-adoption-fund

3. MAKE A TAX-DEDUCTIBLE DONATION. If you would like to make a tax-deductible donation, please go to https://www.adopttogether.org/carlsonadoption


If you have any questions or are interested in helping us in other ways, please feel free to contact us at ourcarlsonadoption@gmail.com