Today I begin a new chapter of my life. This new chapter will be defined by rest. I feel blessed that I have the opportunity to focus on resting and getting better. Rest is not something I do well. It is not a strength of mine. I anticipate it being difficult at times. I know I will have to battle the guilt of not being productive. I usually measure my daily success by how productive I am. I feel unsettled and guilty if I don't have something to "show" for the day. I know I still can be productive, but my sense of productivity should look different than how I have understood it to be. To be productive will be measured by how well I have rested. I am excited about what this new journey will look like, but I know it wont be as easy as it sounds. I am hopeful that a season of rest will bring healing and new life. As hopefully healing progresses, I look forward to rediscovering my passions and the new directions my life may take.
As I reflected in an earlier post I am in the process of figuring out what it looks like to invest in me
in order that I can better invest in the important people/things in my
life ... In the meantime I am trying to figure
out what that looks like, what things I have to give up, and what
boundaries I have to set. I have had to make some difficult decisions in this process of determining what things I have to give up. Often right decisions are difficult. Today is a new day, the beginning of new rhythms and discoveries. Today I rest. Today I take a step in discovering who I am called to be in this new chapter and the chapters to come.